Brum

This article is all about cars, and all about driving them. This week Moira’s brother arrived in Australia to visit us and see what we are getting up to. As a result we planed a trip down the coast to the twelve apostles via the great ocean road. This particular rock formation is an extremely popular postcard image and is one of Australia’s great tourist traps. However in order to get to them we need to drive down the coastline, this being such a big country it is a journey that we couldn’t make in a single day so we decided to hire a car for a few days. The hire shop was unlike anything I have encountered in England. Just pay the daily amount and as long as we don’t right-off the car then our only other expense is the gas. When I asked what cars they had on stock I was told I could get a Hyundai for the same price as a Falcon. Did I hear correctly, a falcon, a ford falcon. Now there is a little bit of Han Solo in me and the opportunity of driving anything that can be referred to as “The Falcon” is just an opportunity not to pass up. Jon would have to be Chewie and Moira is of course princess Leia! Next stop Alderaan. I think I have to officially declare, at this point, that my spellchecker is not versed on Star Wars and as such cannot rectify the mis-spellings, so sorry to the George Lucas people for getting any spelling wrong.

In Australia there are two traditionally Aussie cars, the Holden Commodore and the Ford Falcon, both built here and both driven by taxi drivers all over the country. So I am driving in an authentically Australian car and it happens to be named after my favourite starship. I pick up the falcon, no checks for damage or waivers to sign and am told the car is LPG gas only, not petrol. I have never owned an LGP vehicle so it was with a certain amount of trepidation that I drove into the garage to fill her up (all starships are girls apparently). Now I am about to pump highly explosive gas into the high pressure tank in the back of my chosen steed, how does the nozzle work. Do I hold the handle until gas sprays out in all direction like a huge cigarette lighter? No not at all, I simply screw the nozzle to the car and the pump shuts off after the required pressure shows the tank is full. This does take a couple of attempts but eventually I have the tank full and we are ready to drop into hyperspace and shoot for the open road.

First we had to negotiate Melbourne city centre, not an easy task when the directions printed from the web mention roads that are not signposted or even where they should be. After several wrong turns and then abandonment of the directions we were on our way, first town to get to was Geelong, just round the bay and from here onto the B100 and the great open ocean. Most guidebooks will tell you that the great ocean road starts in Geelong, strictly this is true, however it is the B100 that starts here and at this point there is no real greatness and certainly no ocean. The actual ocean road really starts in Torquay. So we drive down the B100 towards Torquay, the road is long and straight and soon I have set the cruise control on the automatic car and left it to it’s own devices. I son realise how boring it is driving down a straight road with no need to depress any of the pedals and start to wonder if I should be in the back watching that old guy teach the kid how to wield a lightsaber, OK I will stop with the star wars analogy.

Torquay is small and really just a center for surfing dudes to hang around in, each year Rip Curl holds their world championships on a local beach, Bells Beach, and this attracts lots of international surfers. Wait a minute! Bells Beach, I have heard that somewhere before. Yes that’s right this is the beach featured at the end of “Point Break” where Bodie is waiting for the 50 years storm to bring in the biggest surf ever. With such a solid movie connection we are definitely stopping there. So just as we pull onto the great ocean road we then divert to Bells beach, following back roads and signs to the famous beach from the end of the movie. I will get the chance to be Keanau Reeves, Jon will have to be Patrick Swayze, and Moira, well she will have to be an extra in this scene. So we arrive at the beach and it is just like the movie, well actually not at al like the movie. You see whilst the movie claimed to be on Bells beach it appears that the beach has been redesigned since the movie was filmed. The stands for watching the surfers is in the wrong place and the whole beach seems to have shrunk a little. It turns out that the film was filmed in Hawaii and they didn’t use the real bells beach at all. Never mind we get out and admire the views, watching the surfers skim down the waves and marvel at the natural beauty of the place. It really is stunning.

Continuing down the road we get to the actual ocean road and suddenly the driving is completely different. I love driving, I have driven across most of the UK and across France and I love the feel of being on the open road. The great ocean road is one of the worlds best driving experiences, twisting round the curves of the country with forest on one side of the car and the ocean, stretching out to the horizon, on the other is a spectacular and thoroughly stunning experience. At every turn we have a new vista before us, bays with waves lapping into them and spectacular views across the ocean. The experience is awe inspiring and something I recommend for everyone. We drive all the way to Lorne where we stop for the night. The room is better than expected and even has a hot tub in place of a bath. The balcony has a sea view and is frequently visited by cockatoo’s.

The following morning we continue down but the road now drops away from the ocean and the drive is more like a quiet drive in England’s countryside. Soon we approach the coast again and this time the road drops straight down into the twelve apostles. The apostles are eroded sections of the coastline that have broken away from the mainland and now stand as towers in the raging oceans. Whilst there once may have been twelve the ocean has reclaimed some and has yet to produce replacements. As we get to the lookout point, along with a couple of hundred other tourists, it starts to rain and initially I fear that our photo’s are going to be a disappointment. I needn’t have worried, the formation are so spectacular it is almost impossible to take a bad picture of them, the rain-clouds just giving an eerie effect to the images, probably unlike anything most people get to see, or maybe not.

After the apostles it’s back to Lorne and another night in the lush room. Then the long journey home. With the sights and the fantastic driving I arrive a very happy person indeed.

But this is not the end of the motoring madness I have in store, as this weekend is the Australian Grand Prix and we have tickets. I don’t think I have to report the results of the explosive opener sufficed to say that the day was a real good day out, very hot and we spent a lot of time taking pictures of some very fast cars, too fast as it turns out for when we check the images on our camera we find that we have a lot of pictures of empty track. Moira did get a shot of Jenson as he drove round the track, as well as pictures of the air-shows and other racing cars. After the race we were allowed on the track and as we walked round I picked up some of the rubber that had been lain down by the screaming cars, by my reckoning, I now own one millionth of a formula one car. We arrived home after the day slightly deafened but thoroughly impressed with the days events.